I have a tendency (please tell me you do too!) towards panicking when big life changes happen to me. Not panicking about the change in particular, but getting all like "I need to figure everything out forever, now now now!". Of course, this is ridiculous. We don't need to plan the next five years of our lives.
Breaking up is hard not only because of the breakup itself, and all the practical things you need to think about (House? Dog? Will I ever feel able to date again?) but also because it kills the whole future that you had imagined with that person. Instead of making plans as a 'we' you are making plans as an 'I' which is in some ways easier, but in some ways very sad.
For the last three years I have been feeling super super homesick for America. It is weird, because I haven't actually lived there full time since I was eight, but I realized a while ago that, actually, living here so far away from our family is sad and pointless. I have always wanted to raise my (hypothetical) children around their extended family, as I never got to be around mine. So America is calling me. However I also have a little black dog to consider in my plans. Some people have advised me to give her away, but I can't even consider that. I promised her that I would take care of her until she dies or I die, whichever comes first.
This is going to be a sadly conclusion-less post, but I just wanted to put on a (digital) page what I am thinking about and what is weighing on my mind right now. I know it will all work out for the best, as it always does. This planning stage with a million possibilities is scary, but very exciting at the same time.